She Enlightens

Transformation

2019-09-06 20:03 #0 by: Tammie

We are constantly changing all throughout our lives. We transition from one stage to another and often don’t even realize until we are totally past a stage and look back that we are suddenly in a new stage of our lives. There is adolescence, the teenage years, early twenties, the family years, the empty nest years and, so on.
I know that I am in a new stage of life. My Mother was 22 years older than me and she pasted away last fall from Parkinson’s. I watched her lose her mind and body to Parkinson’s. Going through something like that really brings to the forefront the fact that we humans are “finite” and have a limited amount of time. The thought that I may only have 20 years or so left really makes one stop and think. How many of those will be “good” years? How do I make those years better, for myself and for those around me?
So, I am asking myself how to make the most of my time? What do I “really” want out of life? One thing I have learned is that relationships are the only thing that really matter. However, in order to have good relationships we need to be well rounded human beings. Someone that is more or less physically fit generally has a better outlook on life and is more capable of enjoying life. Therefore, more fun to be around. They have more to talk about and are generally busier and can do more things.
I know this, because I have been physically fit for much of my life and then not physically fit for some of it. When you aren’t physically fit there are times that you are just sort of “on the sidelines” instead of in the action. Some people are, or at least they seem, to be happy on the sidelines. Not me, I no longer want to be where I am at physically. Not physically in location but in fitness. I want to be able to hike with a 40lb backpack on me. I want to be able to kayak for miles. I want to get back into cycling. To travel and not to have to spend three or four times as long recuperating than the amount of time spent traveling.
So, I am re-evaluating my life. Where do I want to be and how do I get there? So far, I have talked about physical fitness but there are all types of fitness. For instance there is also financial fitness. There is mind, body and soul fitness. There is spiritual fitness. Some of these certainly overlap each other a bit.
I have always been a hard worker. Often working multiple jobs at a time. At this stage in life I am looking forward to retirement at some point in the future. Right now that is distant plan and there will have to be several things that fall into place before that can happen. So, the question is, how do I get there? Say, ten years from now?
What do I need for this active retirement life that I want? I most certainly don’t need all of the stuff that I currently have in my storage unit. And, I most certainly don’t need the debt that I have acquired. But what do I need to keep? And, what do I need to get rid of? And how do go about it?
When my Mom passed away I went through several different stages of grief. I didn’t want anyone other than family members to have the stuff that belonged to MY Mom and Dad. However, after taking something home for a little bit. I quickly realized I didn’t really want most of their stuff either. Just owning it for about 5 minutes was enough. It seems crazy but that was sort of how the process went. Now, I am hoping my sisters will want the items that I have that are from my parents. I have memories and that is all I really need. Well, maybe I do want some of the pictures. But, I don’t need all of the “stuff” that I currently have from them. In reality it is all a burden, and effort to keep someone who is gone.
So, I am on a quest to a new me. To transform myself and my life. To make the most of it. To break away for former thought patterns and become the best me. I want to be more giving of my finances and my time. I can’t do that when I am in debt. I recently heard the question, “what does freedom mean to you?”
That is a very good question! So, I have been pondering it. What does freedom mean to me? To be free from debt is the first thing that came to mind. Freedom from being overweight was the second thing. I want to be unencumbered to be the best “me” I can be.
I have been a daughter, a wife, a mother, a cyclist, a Realtor, a loan originator, an artist, a home remodeler, an administrative assistant, a grandmother and many other things. But who do I want to be now? I want to transform myself into the best possible version of myself. Someone who is confident to be myself.
So, drum roll please!
I have listed my property for sale. I will soon be out of debt. I have lost eleven pounds. Not much, but it is a start and in my defense, it took a long time to accumulate this weight. I am going through my stuff in storage and I have already decided to forgive myself if I accidentally get rid of something and then have to re-buy it! I am going to hit the “reset” button, so to speak. Or, as a good friend of mine puts it, “Control, Alt-Delete!” On to a new me and new way of life. I am determined to transform myself in every way possible. It may take a year or more. But, I am not going to worry about that. Every day is a step closer to a new transformed version of the best me that I can be.

Happy creating!

Tammie

Host of Paints and Crafts

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2019-09-07 11:28 #1 by: Evelina

It seems like you have the goals that you want to work towards and might even have steps to accomplish them! Just take it day by day and keep showing up for yourself 😁💗

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2019-09-07 14:36 #2 by: Tammie

Thank you! I will. I have decided to not let my expectations get in the way. It will take as long as it takes and I will enjoy the journey!

Happy creating!

Tammie

Host of Paints and Crafts

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2019-09-09 10:23 #3 by: Niklas

#0: Very thoughful text. I agree on most of your conclusions.

I also do not collect old things from my parents or older relatives, unless they are photos or videos. I aim to make all of those available to everyone interested, instead of just having them in old boxes in a fireproof filing cabinet that no one knows I have.

Have you decided on how to live without owning a house? Will you be renting?

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2019-09-09 16:15 #4 by: Leia

You go girl 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 i lover your reflection on life and it seems you’ve already made great progress in achieving your goals! Keep at it!

All the best, Leia

Host of  Gluten-Free Living | News  | English Language Heart

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2019-09-10 19:31 #5 by: Tammie

#0 I haven’t decided. I will probably wait a bit and see, as I suspect the market may go down, and buy again then. In the meanwhile I will keep a close watch for a good deal or good project home to remodel.

Happy creating!

Tammie

Host of Paints and Crafts

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2019-09-11 08:59 #6 by: Niklas

Aha, so you aren’t thinking of not owning on a permanent basis, just scaling down a bit and trying to make some money on the side?

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